Human Emotions
by TheOneInAllYourNightmares
Summary: Beyond finally had him, had L as a crying broken shell of what he used to be. This is what he wanted wasn't it? So why was it so hard to kill him? One sided BB/L


**Hi! I'm back! I used to be "TheImpureAngel", but then I got bored of that name so now I'm "TheOneInAllYourNightmares". I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.**

**This is just a one-shot I thought of.**

**I do not own Death Note!**

**WARNING: Character deaths, a very conflicted Beyond, and one-sided BB/L (they are both male)**

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"Please... Beyond. Don't do this," L whimpered hoarsely. Yes, he whimpered, I have reduced the world's greatest detective to a sobbing, bloody mess. The "world's greatest detective" is sobbing on the floor next to me. The tears leaving shining outlines on his pallid skin. His hair is matted with his own blood, I started giggling.

No, I was beyond **[A/N haha get it]** giggling, I was laughing like a maniac. This is what I want isn't it? So why do I still feel so empty? Why am I not content yet? I have already hurt L to such an extent that he'll never be the same. Didn't I get what I wanted from him? There is another feeling though, a feeling that I can't fathom, a feeling that I can't understand. And that feeling is love.

But psychopaths like me aren't supposed to feel love, right? I felt my grip on the knife loosen and let it clatter to the floor. L, L was useless against me, he didn't even have the strength to pick up the knife that I dropped. He's still crying, useless, stupid. He doesn't deserve to call himself L. He didn't deserve to be the cause of A's death, but I can still feel that something. I can still feel that emotion, that emotion caused by the small part of human I still have left...

There is something wrong with me, I shouldn't be longing for him, but I am. I crave him, even though I hate him. I want him; even though he killed the only person I was close to. A tear dripped down my face. HE should be the only one crying, not ME. The small drop fell to the floor, leaving a mark. Why am I so weak? Why am I so... human? I want to scream, I want to yell at myself for feeling like this, for letting my emotions get the better of me.

I should kill him; I should kill him before I can't. I picked the knife up and walked towards my former idol. He is weaker than me, I am stronger than him. I am better, more powerful, more intelligent. He doesn't deserve my love. He doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve my tears. He doesn't even deserve to live.

L sensed me walking over, and his weeping stopped. His eyes were at the point where they were incapable of making anymore tears. A sudden realization dawned on his face, and the sadness was replaced with fear... and pity. How DARE he feel sorry for ME while HE'S lying useless, COMPLETELY USELESS, on the floor?! I could kill him right now. I could snap his neck or slit his throat... yet he's sympathetic of me. I still don't understand them... humans, I am a human yet I can't grasp what_ I_ am.

That feeling again... No! It's not love, it's not love, it's NOT LOVE! It's just an obsession, not love, just a sick obsession I have. It's just an obsession... nothing more. Then why? Why can't I just kill him right now and get it over with?

He's staring at me now. I tighten my grip on the knife. I can do this; I have to do this. He's bracing himself, because L knows he will die. He knows his death is certain yet I don't... because I don't know if I can. I look up, it's ticking, his time alive is disappearing, second by second. He's going to die eventually, whether I kill him or not, it's inevitable.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, "but I have to, I_ need_ to kill you." Then I stabbed him, right through his heart and watched him fade away. I watch the light disappear from his obsidian eyes. Then I cried, I cried after killing L. He had died under my hand yet_ I_ was crying. It's my fault. Regret... guilt, more of these human emotions were filling up my head... and what was left of my heart. No, I don't have a heart anymore, I just killed the one person that I have ever loved.

I was wrong; I am the one who doesn't deserve L. I killed him along with other people, even though they were destined to die. I'm weak; I'm horribly and utterly weak. I am low, killing someone after hurting them to a point where they are incapable of fighting back. I'm stupid, useless; doing all of this to find a purpose in the world when I didn't have one. I should have just killed myself like A.

It's too late for that now... unless, I kill myself now. My hand trembled; L's blood was still dripping off of the knife. I knelt next to L and felt his skin. It's so cold, as cold as my heart. A few of my tears fell onto his lifeless arm. "I'm so sorry," I whispered again. I bent down, brushing the hair from his eyes and closed them. I can't look into them, they are too pitiful and full of disappointment. He was disappointed in me, and I made him fear me.

"I love you. I've always loved you, even if I didn't admit it when you were alive."

Those were my last words; the last words that I spoke before stabbing myself, right through my nonexistent heart. I cut all my ties to this world and fell into the depths of hell.

**Fin.**

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